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What does a mom home alone on a Friday night do?

Friday, November 1, 2013

So what does a mom at home alone on a Friday night do?  She writes on her blog.... about being home alone on a Friday night.  Dateless, childless, ...just me and the dog. Hanging out all too close to the leftover Halloween candy.

Husband and kid 3 on a scout camp out, and the other 2 boys with friends for the evening.  
There was once a time, not too long ago, that even one of the boys being gone felt like our whole family was missing a piece.  But time has, for tonight anyway, given me a peace that I didn't expect.  Kind of a little surprise gift of grace.  The absolute best kind of gift. 

I remember the first time I saw my oldest, Ethan, ride away in a car with someone other than myself or his daddy.  And I felt like my heart was in that car being pulled down the street along with him - being ripped out and strapped into a baby car seat beside him.

But I've seen that baby grow into a young man taller than his mama.  But even bigger in adventure and interest and this week, courage.  

Today I drove, as he stripped down to his boxers in the front seat.  A quick change after school for the second round of basketball tryouts.  And I told him how proud I am of him for even trying.  Nervous stomach and all.  And how I'm seeing a lot of courage and commitment to something he could've just as easily backed out of.  As much courage as that one 8th grade boy that dressed as a girl in a pink sparkly dress at school for Halloween?   We don't know that boy.... but man, that took guts. 

And where I haven't seen growth, I've tried to encourage it.  Tonight I had to  encourage Christopher to go to the football game.  He didn't want to.  Wanted to stick close to home and to me.  I'll be fine.  And you'll be fine, I tell him.  He's had quite a middle school transition this year and when he gets home, that's where he wants to stay.  Safe in the arms of his couch, his bed, his TV, and his family.  He tells me that I just don't know what he's been through at school today.... and I guess I don't.  But I also know that the longer I hang on to him, the longer he'll hang on to me.  And that's only part of his place in this world.  He has bigger places and plans that we can't even imagine.  And part of the road to getting him and his brothers on their paths.... is to allow them to travel.  To allow them the opportunities of friendships and camp outs and football games....but to be here waiting for them when they get home.  There's the beauty and the security.  That you can always come home. 

Someone once told me that it's possible to be alone without being lonely.  I guess when the people you love the most are where they're supposed to be.... in your heart, they're always kinda close.  

3 comments:

  1. This is lovely. I am in your first stage where my kids are young and always arond. and while i yearn somedays for the freedom of older kids, i never want mine to get older. http://bellesbazaar-heather.blogspot.com/2013/11/imagine-five-minute-post.html

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  2. Heather, I once had an older lady tell me that "healthy families self destruct." And I couldn't imagine. But now having a 13, 12 and 10 year old... I see it. And I never want to force them away... but in a way, I need to, in a measured way and a safe way... in order to get them ready for the next stages. And that next stage is coming. And for me, the hard part is going from full time busy mom to having time on my hands. And deciding positive ways to spend that time.
    Thank you for reading and sharing.

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  3. I see exactly what you mean. I am kind of afraid for my own time days. But every part of life is a different season.

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