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So here is a list of things, odd but true, that you may not know about me....

Wednesday, April 15, 2015


I've been reading a book by an author that I am now in love with, and maybe always have been but didn't know it.  Her name is Anne Lamott and she may be the wisest woman walking this earth.  And for a second I thought she might be my twin separated at birth, except that she's about a decade or 2 older than me.  But y'all, we are that much alike.  She has the same dark sense of humor, the same hopeful yet harsh edged look on life brought onto us by years of being put upon by, well, life.  She curses more than I do, granted.  And she's a little over the top political in nature and I'm really a level zero to none in that regard.... but in everything else we are basically the same person.  And the more reading of Anne's book that I do, I'm toying with the idea of us possibly even being Siamese twins formerly joined together at the brain, heart and fast talking mouth. 

Her book appears to be a collection of life stories - much like here on the blog.  Where each little story is really a day in the life of..... A day in the life of Kristi, I guess, though the title of the blog is really a tribute to my kids.  Because they are the best pieces of me that I could ever leave behind on this earth when I'm done.

And reading Anne's tell-all stories made me realize that I, too, tell all my stories here... but yet there are plenty of things I haven't told you about me.  And for my kids who will someday find this, read it, and possibly weep, this is for you.... to know me in an all new and different way than you knew me as mom.  Because I am, after all, deep and multifaceted.  Much like a diamond. 

So here is a list of things, odd but true, that you may not know about me....

1.  I am mostly, but not completely, vegetarian.  I think the modern term for someone like myself is selectarian, which offends the tried and true vegetarians of the world.  So in simple terms, I am not offended by meat or offended by your love of meat.  You go ahead and eat all you want.  I, however, just don't love it like most people do.  I would say that 8 out of 10 meals for me, sometimes more sometimes less, are a no meat experience.  Why?  I have no idea, but I've eaten this way most of my life.  And I just like most non-meaty things better.  But I am, at the same time, a firm believer that in the toughest times of life that a good hamburger and a chocolate malt go a long way toward improving my outlook on matters.

2.  Continuing on the topic of food and all things wonderful in that category... I believe the cinnamon pop tart to be the world's best ever food discovery.  Serve it warm, serve it cold, sneak in the kitchen in the middle of the night when you can't sleep and help yourself to a convenient foil wrapped treat.  You'll be doing yourself a favor.  

3.  I am freakishly allergic to a more than my fair share of things... some things I can't even identify.  Like that time at the Boy Scout pot luck where something made my face swell to the size of Texas.  And my lips, alone, were the state capital.  I can also trigger a migraine by walking through a mall or large department store full of clothes with chemical fabric dyes.  And y'all, I will run away from the perfume ladies at Neiman's like I'm being chased by a well dressed, fragrant zombie.

4.  I met my husband when we were tweens/teens.  Though the word tween didn't even exist then.  Very much like the word selectarian.  He was 11, I was 13.  And at the ripe old age of relationship experienced,  I am seriously beginning to doubt the strength of his young devotion to me as he has always claimed.  ......Cue the story of the waitress at the Waffle House that he admired enough to leave a substantial sized tip when he was a young adult, maybe hoping to buy himself more than a waffle, and I have doubts about my imprint on his young life. However, something worked as intended in God's crazy plan.... because after years of knowing each other and not being a couple, he is the one sitting on my couch in there watching a scary zombie show with our kids.  It's a funny and strange world when things like that happen, as well as when I use the word zombie twice in one post.

5. Once when I was a baby I had a fever of 107.  No kidding.  I was an infant, on a road trip through Arkansas with the family, and was frying like a fish right there in the backseat.  So the doctors packed my little body in ice and this is how I ended up.  I like to think about how I may have turned out had my brain not been altered by history that day long ago.  I could've been a genius.  However, I did manage to help Kid 1 with an algebraic dilemma of graphing totally useless number inequalities last  night....... and he thinks I am THE. BEST. MOM. EVER.   For now anyway.  Till I'm no use to him anymore and/or we run out of food.  Anyway, I even got a mumbled I love you, and that made me ever thankful that I listened in math class back in 8th grade.

6.  I was, as a child, once forced to play the role of Mrs. Noah in a church play and I forgot my words from stage fright.  However, I have matured and grown into my own skin and now blossom when given a headset microphone and front and center stage at work.   I also think I would make a great Las Vegas showgirl.  

7.  I have never smoked a cigarette in my life, ... or smoked anything for that matter.  My husband says I am a freak of nature and that I must have been locked in a dungeon.  Nevertheless, the only pollution in these lungs is from dirty Dallas air and paint fumes from various home improvement projects.  

8.  I sleep with the covers completely over my head with only a small hole open for my nose.  Because I am afraid of something touching me - mostly bugs.  

So that's the tell-all for today.  I couldn't bring myself to make it to a well rounded list of 10.  And of course, it's my own version and thoughts of me... yours may differ.   Please be kind if you comment.....

And I think we are who we are, no matter the color we paint ourselves... bright and sunny yellow? Dark and dismal gray?  But underneath it all is still a person - made in God's image and all that, but still a whole lot like a machine missing one or two very important parts.  And who we are can be seen more in how we are, than in what we say we are.  You may quote me on that.

I had the opportunity this week to witness feelings and words in action.  People defending what they believe is right and standing up against a perceived wrong.  And at the same time, the flip side of the story, ... where the battle lines were drawn?  The other side felt like they were doing the same.  It was interesting to watch. 

But I shared this with a friend during the week, ...You have handled yourself with polite grace that is a testament to both your character and your faith.  This week has been for us all, an opportunity to let our worst selves show.  But you have done a great job at keeping a thoughtful silence till the right words come.  How appreciated this is.

And I would like to think that someday, no matter how I choose to describe myself, that when all is said and done, people will have seen in me a person of character, faith, and strength.  A person that had a story to tell on every page of my life.


If you would like to follow along, good news!  You can... Follow on Bloglovin to get every post sent directly to your email box.  You can even do it anonymously..... and I'm okay with that as long as you're not a crazy stalker or in any other way scary. 

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