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For my friend

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Y'all, I needed to write this today.  



Here is my list of top reasons why I love my friend, Debi.  Please continue praying for her health.  

1.  She makes me laugh.  EVERY DAY.  Really, every day. 

2.  I make her laugh.  I don't know how often, but often enough that she sticks around. 

3.  She brings me soup when I'm sick. 

4.  She brings my dog medicine when she is sick.

5.  She takes me to tattoo and piercing places to get my ear cartilage pierced.  Then takes pictures when I scream. 

6.  She told me her secret to her famous potato salad. 

7.  She has almost any obscure item you might ever need, either in her pantry or her attic.  Sometimes in the back of her car or her purse.

8.  I trust her with my kids and she trusts me with hers. 

9.  We like to sit in my front yard chairs and talk about life.  

10.  She brings me surprises she found on the clearance rack at Target. 

11.  She always leaves me a pot of flowers on my porch to mark the beginning of the fall season. 

12.  She has never forgotten my birthday. 

13.  Once she asked me if I would bail her out of jail should the need arise.  I said yes even though she was in another state at the time.  I know she would do the same for me. 

14. She's teaching me to care about things that are important and not to care about things that aren't. I'm still learning.

15.  She loves Jesus.  Maybe even more than I do. 

16.  She always calls and asks if I need anything while she's at the store. 

17.  There are more texts on my phone between the two of us than anyone.  Even my husband. 

18.  She likes sports and beer and dirty jokes.  I don't like any of those things.  But we like each other. 

19.  She shares her mom with me. 

20.  And the most important thing of all, she taught me how to  be a friend. 

Because I really just didn't know.  I have been more than blessed by the people that have come in and out of my life over the years.  But there have been very few who have shared and cared and been with me longer than a season. And that is probably my most prominent character flaw.  

What's that?  You think my most prominent flaw is the part of me that's somewhat shallow and selfish and spends too much time looking in the mirror to make sure my teeth are white enough? You may be right.  Both are in the top 5 for sure.     

And I have no good college roommate stories to tell because I never could keep one longer than a year.  And no one to be a bridesmaid which was totally okay with me because I don't love big weddings and didn't have one.  

But y'all.  Loneliness is a built in part of me.  Like windshield wipers on a car - completely standard issue.  And there was a time several years back that my loneliness hurt so much that I started praying for a real friend.  Then out of the blue, one day picking up the boys after school, a gal started talking to me like she had known me forever.  And she's been a part of my days ever since.  

Several times over the years she's told me that God told her we would be friends.  And I would've never believed that had she not been the answer to my prayer.  

And no matter what or where or who since that first day, she has continually promised me through her presence that a friend loves at all times.  

I write this with a grieving heart as I watch her suffer through a very painful illness.  And so many people who love her are waiting to see what's next.  

But today, there's this.  

Y'all, feel free to share your own stories in the comments.  I feel like we need to have Debi party around here and my blog and I are happy to host.  

18 comments:

  1. Boy do I understand this post, Kristi. Debi and I have been friends a long time. My list is a lot like yours, not in all the particulars, but surely at a heart level. I am praying with you.

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    1. she is a huge part of this community, isn't she? We are lucky to have her.

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  2. Beautifully expressed . . . certainly heartfelt. I understand the need to have a good friend-they are priceless!

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  3. Thanks for writing this and inviting us to a Debi Party! She has been on my mind lately. I haven't seen her much recently because I changed jobs and no longer work with her but our desks were next to each other at work. She was very quick to bring in an encouraging card or nick nack especially when I was going through hard things with my daughter. We shared many stories of teenage children problems and prayed for each other. I know she truly cared and did not judge.
    Debi was constantly networking and trying to connect needs with the appropriate person or item.
    I was constantly amazed at all the songs she knew and she was constantly amazed that I didn't know them.
    I first met Debi over the phone I was doing the after hours calls for the office and she worked in the office. She talked to me like she had known me forever.
    I will never hear "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood" again without thinking of her (even though since I am not a morning person I did not always receive this exuberance with grace!). No matter how she was really doing she was always "peachy keen and wonderful". She has an amazingly positive outlook.
    Please pass on to her that I am praying for her and that I miss her and love her.
    Wendy Acker

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    2. Wendy, I love this story about Debi! It describes her perfectly. And I can just hear her in my head singing at work. I think the most important thing you recognized here about our friend is that she truly cares and never judges. We need more Debi's in our days I think. Thank you for commenting. And I am gathering every comment and note and going to share them with her soon.

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  4. Debi is like a big sister to me. She always tells it like it is. Straight-up and no nonsense. But always making me laugh - even when she was delivering some tough words. The scriptures she would send in a text to me just because God had laid them on her heart to share, were always exactly what I needed to hear. She truly has taught me how to be a friend too. �� Gretchen Allen

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    1. So true, Gretchen. The nurse in her can talk about any subject without flinching. Even the tough ones, and that carries over into her friend and family relationships as well. She is one of a kind.

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  5. Renee HollingsworthMay 25, 2016 at 8:44 PM

    I am not a writer. I am not good with words. However, when I think of the words true friend, Debi comes to mind. Your blog describes Debi perfectly. I love you Debi!!!!!

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    1. Renee, your words are the best words because they come straight from the heart. I will share them with Debi when I see her next. Thank you for sharing.

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  6. Christi Harris-LazaroMay 25, 2016 at 10:35 PM

    I've known Debi since our kids started kindergarten together and they're still friends, along with Kristi's kid #2 and on their way to HS. Debbie's a wonderful and supportive mom, a great nurse, who has on more than one occasion calmed my fears when one of the kids was sick or had a rash or whatever. We mostly see each other at school events, kids birthday parties and an occasional Mom's Night Out! She's really good at making people laugh! I admire your friendship and would love to sit in the yard any day with you both to talk about life...and eat cake! Let Debbie know she's thought about and prayed about and I look forward to eating cake with her soon.

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    1. Christi, I swear that will be the first thing we do. And I'll even buy new lawn chairs for the occasion. There's something about just sitting and talking when there's nowhere else we need to be that just is so fun. I'm missing her a lot right now and all of yall's comments are helping with that. Thank you for sharing a Debi story. (and you are welcome in my front lawn chairs anytime - I think you and I could do some pretty good talking)

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  7. When I was diagnosed with a melanoma, she was the third person I called. She was so reassuring and kind! She listened to me cry, referred me to an excellent surgical oncologist, brought me a care package and some delicious meals. We bonded over fighting cancer, and I feel so fortunate to know her. Debi is the epitome of generosity. Please let her know that I am praying for her and the family.

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  8. your description of Debi is perfect. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  9. Can't stop crying at this moment. Loved Debi and all she brought to this world.

    My heart aches right this minute. Love the tributes to Debi. She brought so much to this world. She will be missed.

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    1. She knew this day was coming and did everything to stay positive about it all even days before her passing when I last saw her. I am thankful for her and all she has added to me and everyone that knew her. Now to go out into the world and continue spreading some of her Debi ways to make this a beautiful place.

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  10. This is kind of personal, but what good is something beautiful if you just hold on to it, right? One day when I used to work at her kids' elementary school, Debi and I spent the day in one of the classrooms organizing the literacy library and getting to know each other. At that point, all I knew of Debi and her family was that one of her children had shouted, "Down with Democrats!" In class one day, so I didn't know what kind of person to expect. We talked of my childhood, having a former Baptist minister for a dad, who ended up having an affair and leaving my mom after 26 years of marriage. I found that despite political affiliations, we shared a beautiful perspective on God and one's personal relationship with Him. His grace and love. We laughed, genuinely. And I really felt like she listened and cared. She is a beautiful person and I always remember her smile and wave from that point on. Praying for her and her beautiful family, always.

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    1. Thank you Monica for letting me get to know you a little better as well. Debi loved people and made them HER people. What a beautiful spirit she had and part of that was being so curious and thoughtful of other people. I miss her already, too.

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