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Surprised by grace...again

Sunday, July 10, 2016


I slept past 10:00 Saturday morning.  Vacation obviously exhausts me.  I'll share details of the trip soon, y'all, but first things first. 

I went downtown to teach a class Friday morning, the morning after the police shootings here in Dallas.  And everything seemed so oddly normal.  It was just like any other day.  Granted there was less traffic because certain areas of downtown were blocked off and tons of people couldn't get to work, but the parts that were open?  Totally like nothing happened.

I always find that difficult to understand.  And so hard to accept, how the world keeps turning after something bad has happened.  Isn't everyone supposed to feel the same kind of sadness that I feel?  I always think it should, but it never does.   

That's always been a hard lesson.   To keep living and moving on after surprises change my plans.  Notice how I said MY plans?  That may be a big part of the problem.

We were driving home from our trip Thursday night, with no idea what was happening at home.  It was dark, way past my bedtime, and home still seemed a million hours away.  And I was the only one who had to get up and be somewhere the next day.  So I reclined my seat, laid down on a pillow listening to whatever Fireman Dave had on the radio, and heard an oldie from my younger days.  Think 1980's synthesized love songs.  I can still picture the Kristi from back then, how she wore a size 4 and was the queen of the summer tan.  I remember the places and the temperature of the summer nights and how we didn't get eaten alive by mosquitoes back then in Dallas.  And I remember the music on the radio - which may or may not have been background music for some quite memorable teenage romances.   Ok, it was make out music.  We all know it.    

But this time, in the car Thursday night with two of my favorite people in the world, it was the hand of Kid 3 that I was holding.   And I thought about my then and now and how much more I like my now.  And I thought about how, so many years ago, I could've never imagined how things would turn out this many years past my little frame of understanding.  

And y'all, it makes my brain confused to try to count the twists and turns that have been, in the way that only God can, arranged and choreographed, shaped and sorted, for me to either experience or skip, to get me here.  

So when I worry, as I tend to do, I now have a perfect example of how time can change everything.  Thank you Kid 3 for channeling your inner angel for me Thursday night.  Mama crazy loves you. 

Y'all, my hope is that wherever each of us falls in the debates over our current condition of humanity, that we'll allow ourselves to be surprised by grace; lifted by the hope of the good that is all around; and willing to see and trust the beauty of time in all it's power.  

post script... This picture was taken today at Fireman Dave's station

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