I was the attractive older woman in the relationship and totally good with it

birthday workout with someone I love

How to sum up weeks of crazy in a few short paragraphs:  well, .... with bullet points, of course. 

1.  I've been laid off work for the next indeterminate amount of time... Which means I really need to lay off the chocolate in the coming days. 

2.  Kid 1 was given 3 days notice to get to Mississippi, pack up his dorm room and move out.  Obviously before the world was scheduled to end by X o'clock on the third day.  Proud to report he made it and is unhappily and bored at home without the stimuli of college life to entertain him.  Pray for an adjustment for us all.  Seriously.

3. Kids 2 and 3 will be doing school work from school issued laptops that they received today.  Just like the food distribution that they drove through and got from the school yesterday, it's pretty much a scene from Contagion out there where the lunch ladies and school principals just throw the food and learning materials through an open window of your car as you drive by.  

4.  A couple of my kids - I forget which - were fussed at by a neighbor for trying to shoot squirrels with a pellet gun.  Y'all it's come to this.  They have no clue how to survive without constant entertainment and I hope I never have to live in a cave with them.  Refer back to number 1 where I discuss unemployment.  

5.  And today I did my Birthday workout.  My traditional workout where I have to do squats, pushups, lunges, .... all the things.... each in the amount of my million years of age.  Kid 2 joined me and he now wishes I were younger  - as that was really a whole lotta lunges.   

Which brings me to birthdays and life and all the stuff that I tend to think about more than I ever imagined.  Y'all, I'm pretty sure I didn't do my birthday workout last year.  Mainly because I was still a zombie and I can't even remember the month of March, much less a particular day of it from last year.  So being able to get out and involved in an active part of living is a giant step forward for me.  

And I've actually considered that I might have two different birthdates now.  The one in March, today, when I entered this life for the first time.  And the one pretty much each day where I have to choose to keep on living this life - and sometimes that decision is harder than others.  And thank you sweet Jesus, sometimes easier.  And everyone throw me a party because I think I have to make that particular decision fewer times and farther between now.  And I even felt a bit of an accomplishment to note that I've now lived 3 years longer than Fireman Dave got the chance to.  And if you do the math on that one... you know that I was the attractive older woman in the relationship and I was totally good with it.  

And this morning I woke to some pretty sweet birthday words from a 16 year old kid I know that gave my heart a leap and a jump of encouragement.  Thanks be to God for leaps no matter the size.  And for the courage to make and accept them.  

So, from my darling Kid 3....  words to live and love by for a bit longer - till I find my new purpose and place.  I'm open to suggestions and shared phone numbers of kind, fit and respectable companions.  ...

"Happy Birthday, Mama.  I know we do not spend as much time together as we used to but I still love you just as much.  I know it may seem like I write these notes to avoid getting a gift, but actually it just helps me say what I'm trying to say better.  Well I hope you enjoy your day as much as possible.  Love you. ❤"

And as I listened to a phone message from one of our ministers at church this afternoon, wishing me well, she told me how she saw a baby bird learn to fly this morning from his nest.  And how she hoped that I was able to find a small moment of joy like that in my day.  

I did.  

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