Thursday, August 29, 2013

For my Christopher on your 4th day of middle school.

To Christopher with love on your 4th day of middle school,

Today you left for the school bus with a slow hesitation. Delaying going out the door.  And with an extra I love you yelled to me in the kitchen.  That should've been a sign.... a big ol' looming sign of what a bad Thursday morning mom I really am.  Because at exactly 11:19 this morning your school nurse called.  And I missed it. Because I was in the middle of aqua zumba dancing on the deck of the pool.  For my job.... I don't just get up and dance on the decks of pools.

And it made me remember the day when Ethan threw up in preschool and I missed that call, too.  Because I was in spin class.  And we play our music entirely too loud in there.  And that day when I rolled through the carpool line to get him... the teacher had to tell me that he had already gone home - with Nana. And Nana didn't even call me.  Just let me drive through the carpool line of shame.

But for you today, my 11 year old Chris, it just turned out to be a little adjustment period to the newness of it all.  The bigness of your new world.  And a little homesickness.  But I love that the nurse told you that she was feeling a little homesick today, too.  Because one mom filling in for another mom is more than a blessing in a pinch.

So Christopher,.... my little love, growing up and taking on new people and places with the same determination you put into everything you do.... here is my wish for you.  First I wish for you a mom that answers her phone in times of need and crisis. And I wish for you the ability to call out a carefree day when needed - like those of your little brother who can entertain himself all day with a pencil. And I wish for you the  relaxed confidence of big brother... who takes middle school as just another thing he has to get through in order to come home and play XBOX.  With his pants off.  Because I wish for you the freedom of boxer shorts and the comfort of home wherever you may go.  Today on the 4th day of middle school and into the bigger days ahead.

There is peace in knowing, but not being held back by the knowledge.  There is a peace in being at home, but even more of a peace knowing that you can always come home.  And this, my angel, is my promise to you....  that no matter where I am, or what time of day or night, teaching class or even stuck out in the desert... I will always be here for you.  You may have to leave a voice mail.... but I'll be there. Soon. 

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