Monday, August 19, 2013

Healthy families self destruct.

Ive thought of everything.... from sensitive stomach Kid 2 eating old cheese to storms washing boats full of boy scouts down river.......

Our scouting experience has us all divided this weekend.  And the morning thunder all around not only had my dog in a panic, but got me going, too. 

I like the responsibility and the supervised independence that these scout weekends offer the boys. If they don't pack warm enough, too bad.  It's gonna be cold tonight.  If they don't meal plan and prepare their own food -  hungry boys till the next opportunity to eat.  It's good stuff, really.   But I miss the days of us all being in the same place.  Being on the same schedule.  And I miss the time.  Together time.

I've been seeing it in lots of ways..... not just weekends away.  There's school, and friends, and sports, and that darned Kindle Fire that Kid 1 got for Christmas.  We're going our separate ways - slowly - yet in so many ways.  And I worry.  And I wonder. 

Moms will understand this, I know.  We get tired and frustrated, and we long for moments of quiet and even a few minutes in the bathroom all by ourselves.  But when those alone times come, so do the thoughts.  The thoughts of how it's all moving too fast.  Of how quickly they' re growing up.  And one day, they (and me) are either prepared for the separation or we're not. 

A wiser woman than I once told me that "healthy families self destruct."  But in a good way. I try to remember that one and trust it from her experience.

I hope I'm teaching the boys as if I may not be here tomorrow.  And I really hope I'm loving my boys like they might not be here tomorrow.    

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