Sunday, September 15, 2013

Mercy and grace. I can't get enough.

I dreamed that I had a new baby.  A girl.  But I don't think she was really mine.  She just showed up and was mine.  Get it?  And I have no idea who her real parents were or how I got her... and why I was on a train with her.  But that didn't occur to me till after I woke up.  The real theme of the dream was that I was unprepared.  And frantic.  And in the dream I cried because we got rid of the stroller and the baby bed long ago.  And the thought of diaper costs made me panic.  Then in the dream I lost baby girl on the train.  And I don't even ride trains.  Much like poor Nippy the hamster, my dream baby girl didn't stand a chance with us. 

Maybe it's the start of school and the return to scheduling our every day.  And the insecurity of change and new things and places as my son has felt in his new adventure of middle school.  Bringing on the crazy dreams.  And moms have a direct line to our kids' feelings.  Our hearts are just crazy connected that way. 

This weekend was our garage sale.  Held in our front yard in between 2 houses holding estate sales.  So we didn't even have to put up a single sign which was the very best thing EVER.  And the boys did well with their lemonade and bake sale stand.  The world loves a good brownie so they totally won with that. 

It has been a weekend of neighbors and traffic, of hard work and periods of waiting, of boys re-discovering the love of a skate board just in time to keep it from being sold.  Of bake sales and lemonade stands and friendly faces buying from little boys. 

A weekend of sunshine and a light breeze to hint that change is coming.  A time of cleaning out the old and making room for new.  Making room for space. Space to more fully enjoy our home and to feel a little less cluttered and rushed.  Space for our souls to breathe and wait for what is next. 

Transition, change, redirection.  Things I've always struggled with.  Hanging on to today for fear of nothing better for tomorrow, and I have been so many times willing to accept less than God had planned for me all along. And in considering plans...then comes the true picture of mercy.  The gift of God NOT giving me what I truly deserve.  But instead making me the grateful receiver of more good gifts than I can name or count. 

But I really should do that sometime - count them, name them... one by one... like the song says.  God does, after all, inhabit the praises of his people. And in counting those blessings - and joyfully giving praise to the giver of all good and perfect gifts - I am at that moment being handed his mercy.  Mercy that has forgiven me what I truly deserve with all my human flaws and failures - and instead, being handed the beauty of God's grace that allows me to move forward toward his higher hopes for me.

Mercy and grace.  I can't get enough.

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  1. Wonderful expression from a mom in touch with God & her family . . .


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