Friday, October 4, 2013

a birthday prayer of thanksgiving.

It all came and went so fast....  I should have known the day he was almost born in the car.  

12 years ago today I welcomed my second son after a fast and furious delivery.  I had been in false labor for weeks and didn't recognize the real thing when it came.  Neither did fireman Dave.  So when we finally decided to head to the hospital, way too late, I was screaming at anyone slowing us down.... like the man crossing the street - that I still remember to this day.  And when the doctor said it was too late to get an epidural -  I just told him to go ahead and shoot me, right then.  Right now... end it all because I'm gonna die any minute anyway... mister who has never given birth before.  

But the drama of the morning brought me this..... And I held him in my arms.

And I dressed him like a duck.

And a cowboy.

And I loved him more than I ever thought possible.  I still do.  

With him being the second born, I was so afraid I wouldn't have enough love to go around - to equal the crazy love I discovered with my first.  But what I found was a lesson in endless love.  Unending, limitless, bottomless, full to the top love that just keeps coming no matter how many kids I divide it between.  And that love has to be from somewhere and someone other than myself.  A love from a God that taught me how to do first loving me.  An  unlovable person at unlovable times.  Kinda' like moms do pretty often.  

So my prayer for my kids today is that they feel that bottomless, full to the top kind of love in our home.  That they know the feeling of welcome and attention and caring and memories.   That they wrap themselves in the cozy blankets of our den, and find rest in the peace of this place.   

And for my Christopher, 12 years old today.... my lover of comic books and super heroes, legos and cowboy boots, friends and family,  and all things chocolate....  and a brand new player of the french horn. (2 days experience..... and sounding better all the time.....) 

You are a gift that keeps giving.  But on your birthday 12 years ago, I was given the gift of being your mom.  The gift of a lifetime.  

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