Monday, October 7, 2013

I don't know. Praying God's heart for my children. Post 4

Do those big prayers work?  I don't know.... 

Honestly, most of my prayers recently have been about Christopher - the middle kid, as he has dealt with quite the adjustment to middle school this year.  It's 6 weeks in and he still has his mama's nervous stomach.  Every morning. Right in time for the bus to roll up and for us to run like crazy people to catch it.  Last week it was his daddy running barefoot across the school yard in a last minute attempt to deliver the forgotten school ID badge... as Christopher tried to stall the bus driver.  Totally wish I had my camera for that one.   

It's been mostly homesickness for Chris, and getting used to being a bus ride away from home instead of 2 blocks away.  And of course the work load and expectations are bigger - as is everything.  And when you're 12,  The big things are giant.  Especially the things you can't control. 

Last school year our focus was on Sam, the 10 year old.... but so far so good with him.  He's rolling with the 4th grade punches and just going about his business. Which we totally needed this time around.  

But here's my question....Is it because we prayed and prayed for something to improve with Sam?  Is it because prayer did its magic and this year is looking up?  I don't think so.   I think several factors have come into play here -  one being that he has amazing teachers this go round. And I didn't necessarily pray for that specifically.  Mostly I prayed for his past teachers not to kill him. 

So today I'm thinking about praying big for my kids.  Not those general, bless my kid today, kind of prayers.  But the big, specific, say what you mean and get to the point kind of prayers.  Because I've done it.  One year we had a health scare with our oldest.  And the waiting on tests was more than I could stand - so every night for about a week waiting on biopsy results - I painted the boys bathroom.  And prayed.  And didn't sleep, and prayed some more.  And went about normal stuff by day.... but tucked those kids in at night and painted my energy and worry away. A very manly shade of brown.   

All this being said, I don't think prayer is magic.  And I don't think that just because I put it out there to God that it's gonna definitely be a go.  Because we could argue that parents of terminally ill children have prayed their hearts out - and still suffered a crippling loss.  I don't know why some prayers work or don't work. And I don't know why some seem to be answered quickly and efficiently and in our favor.... while others seem to sit on the shelf and get filed away. I think the theme here is that I don't know. 

But I'm willing to offer up whatever praise and pleadings I have to give on behalf of my boys.  And I know that God is a hearing God.  And a speaking God.  And that he wants to know my heart for my kids.

You know the ask, seek, knock Bible verse that makes us think that prayer is a Christmas list of things we want?  Here's what I learned this past Sunday.  From a much wiser woman than I ......

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."  (Matthew 7:7-8)

I learned that by asking and seeking and knocking.... we are only assured of one answer.   One.   We may receive others, but we are assured of only one -   That when we ask and seek and knock, we will receive the Holy Spirit.... that will then wash over us and help us to make peace with ourselves and our problems and circumstances.

A mighty lesson learned.      

Missed day 3 post?  Here you go.... 

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