Saturday, January 25, 2014

What can I pray for you today?

I've struggled a bit lately with where I belong in this big blogging world.  Compared to some of the blogging giants - the ones that seem to be filled with endless organization and inspiration, words that bless and comfort, and houses that make my 1956 ranch feel embarrassed.  And I find myself back in high school all over again - monitoring my popularity by how many readers I get for each post.  And y'all that's not why I started this.  I'm not in the business of blogging.  I'm just in the business of being me. 

But I think we crave to be recognized.   I do, anyway.  My heart secretly yelling, LOOK AT ME,   LISTEN TO ME,   NOTICE ME.   I think we naturally have a deep desire to be known and understood.  And wanted.  And appreciated  and encouraged.  And I admit that I have a deep heart's desire to be seen for who I am and what I have to offer.  After I question a million times what exactly it is that I have to offer....  And I feel like sometimes I try and try to catch up, but don't.  And I try to compare, but don't.  And I do more and more with very little in return.  Just out there waving my big Kristi flag all around trying to be seen.  Hoping to be noticed.  For anything, really.  For my good or bad, my weakness and strength, and for my days -  that maybe I'm contributing to more than  just what I see with my own eyes.  Ever feel that way?

Ever just need someone to say that they're proud of you for what you're doing?  Mothering, teaching, cleaning, organizing,?   .... Because we're always doing something.  And we're ALL doing something.  And I like to think that all my somethings add up to SOMETHING BIG in the eyes of the one who made me to do exactly this.  Whatever and wherever it may be today. 

So today as we visit via blog... I am praying for you and for me.  For us to hear the words that someone sees us right where we are.  Sees our tired.  Sees the demands that are ever present in our days.  Sees the joy and fear that walk side by side in our families and relationships.  And recognizes how hard we  work to move forward, as well as the steps that take us back.  I am praying for you to see yourself as beautiful and smart and loving and funny and helpful and all around wonderful.  I'm praying that for myself, too.  

I see you where you are today.  And I've been in some similar places. 

I see my middle schoolers tired from all the demands of growing and changing.  I see my youngest one's hopes and dreams to be great at something.  And I see him try again and again to find out what that may be.  I see brothers who love, and sometimes who don't.  I see family that has been separated because of hurt.  I see some creative meals in our near future till payday.  But I also see in each new day, a chance to choose.  To choose how I will deal with the daily drama that this world can dish out like a bad reality show. 

And as much as I want to be seen for my outward accomplishments - so I can be affirmed and reminded of my worth -  I am praying hard for myself right now to feel a greater desire to be known for things unseen.  For the lives that I touch at home and work, for jobs well done, for a faith that wavers as much as the next guy's - but still keeps hanging with me through it all.

I am praying to be seen for who I am today.   And for all that I do  - on and off the blog - to be done to the glory of the one who made me.  Key words - He Made MeAnd you.  

And another super big one.... praying for the ability to wait.  To wait for what God has in store for me as a mom, wife, writer, friend......

My little email button is right over there on the side of the page. What can I pray for you today?   

Would you like to comment?

  1. thanks for dropping by for a "visit" at my blog and commenting. :) Very nice to meet new friends, especially those who eat chocolate chips out of the bag just like me. One doesn't meet too many people who do that and even less who admit to doing it! :) So, I am thinking we must be closely related somehow, only confirmed by the fact that you love country music as well.

    And I get your thoughts here 100%, just wrote something akin a few weeks ago about craving community and the insecurities I have been trying to wrestle down the last few months. I've been listening to a sermon series by Matt Chandler called, "Recovering Redemption" that has been excellent. Perhaps you might check him out and be encouraged, too.


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