Sunday, February 9, 2014

Facebook friends are not really my friends. Yes, I really just said that.

How do I say this?  Facebook friends are not really my friends.  Not the friends that help me with my kids and bring me food when I'm sick and other sweet kinds of stuff.  Facebook friends.... are contacts mostly.  Mostly people I've know over the years, most I've lost touch with, and the original reconnection on Facebook was fun and sweet to see where life has led.  But then it stops. 

But the newsfeed continues.  And so much of the time it's stuff I don't really want to know.  This morning my cousin posted a video of a man catching his wife cheating.  Nice.  So I reported to Facebook that I didn't want to see that story.  And I've done that several times recently, actually.  Because I'm mean that way.  And my time is valuable and I don't want it filled with garbage.  Would I invite you over to my house for a visit and ask you to pull out the cheating wife video?  Probably not. Would you come to my house and show inappropriate pictures of yourself to me and my kids?  Because I've seen a few of those too.  So when that happens, I tend to report it and maybe unfriend. Once again, because I'm mean that way.  

But not only am I the protector of my kids hearts and minds with their books, tv, movies, friends,.... I am also the keeper of my own.  And all that stuff just floating around on my computer makes me sad.  (And really, my kids don't even have FB accounts or their own personal email accounts or phones or anything really -  they'll be happy to tell you.)  Because the wide open gate to the world is already big enough without opening up all these extra little doors.

I, in fact, have a very tiny facebook friend list.  Because I'm kinda picky about who I want to share my life with.  And when I post something out there - it goes out there.  Like a big ol' newsflash of Kristi's business.  Just like on this blog.  So what's the difference? 

I seem to be willing to post lots of info about my angels, pirates, and thieves on here.  Because I see this site as my online journal.  And I invite you in to read along at your discretion.  By your choice and at your will.  

And I'll tell you about my kids and occasionally my husband, but not a whole lot there.... he did mop up spilled milk for me the other day because he's sweet that way.  But I wont invite you into our marriage or our discussions or our private walls.  Because though I blog oh so philosophically at times about life and family and our general mayhem - it's all pointed in one direction on here.  Toward the God who made me for this.  This - mothering, marrying, writing, driving a mom car and cleaning everything in site.  I hope for this blog to be a gathering place, to tell my story and share the ins and outs of it all so that maybe one person can benefit.  Maybe.  The rest of the story?  I get to keep to myself.

And this weekend I saw the most beautiful example of holding love up close where it belongs.  In a safe and private place to be held and valued by those that truly have the capacity to enjoy and care.  Not spread to the masses.  A friend, um, Facebook friend, got married.  And Facebook had no idea. I had no idea.  I never even knew she was engaged.  And I love that.  Because we knew each other in high school, and not since.  And now we have an online connection through Facebook.  Not a friendship.  So Facebook can call it whatever they want.  Just don't be fooled.  

But what I love is that this gal kept the relationship to herself and her close friends and family.  She didn't flood our news feed with wedding plans and screams of excitement.  Because really, only those that love and hold a friend close can truly share in the joy.  So she didn't waste that God given gift of joy by trying to spread it too thin.  She didn't try to become the center of her online friends' attention.  Because in this beautiful time of her life she had all the attention she needed.  Family, friends and those that were there for her in the walk through the difficulties of life that led her to this wonderful day.  

And I am so very pleased at her news.  And more pleased to see such an example of grace and beauty in a world screaming for our attention. 

Would you like to comment?

  1. I am the same way. I don't want to share a lot on Facebook and will share more on my blog a lot of the time, and won't usually share on Facebook, but will share it on Pinterest and linky parties. lol I know it sounds crazy but that is how I am.

  2. Funny..... we were at a restaurant not long ago and I saw a lady that has been requesting me to friend her on FB. But she didn't recognize me or the family right there in person. So to me, FB is so far from a personal relationship with folks.
    Our blogs are us - the real us, good and bad, pretty pictures and some not so much. And I think the people who continually stick around to read along are beautifully kind souls for just hanging on. Far more of a connection that way than a simple " look at me and what I'm doing" post on other media. Now, then again,...if I had created FB and made a fortune and sat back and read the bazillions of status updates that people throw out each day, I might enjoy it more. Then make a comedy sitcom about the stories. Thanks, Lauren for hanging out here.


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