Friday, May 16, 2014

Looking at people's hearts, ... getting to know them before I assume that I already do

I was just checking email and got one from Common Sense Media which is a really good website for evaluating the appropriateness or lack thereof of movies, TV, and such for kids.  And the email title said, How to Raise a Reader, BUT... I thought it said, How to Raise a Teenager... and I hit that open button like I was winning a million dollars on The Price is Right.


And y'all a lady in class today said something to me that was shocking.  S.H.O.C.K.I.N.G.   - Or maybe just rude.  I'll leave it at that and let your minds wonder and question.  But she upset me and made me lose focus and look altogether unprofessional for a matter of minutes.  Till I decided that I wasn't the one who should be all flustered like that..... no sir.  So I just danced till my heart got happy again.  And then I complained about her to other people that I knew would counteract her meanness with a whole lotta nice.  

But my observation for today is this..... we tend to speak first and not give it a lot of thought before hand.  Like that time in Branson on vacation and we were about to see the awesome karate show .... and tickets were sold and seated in a giant auditorium by color codes.  Red, white, blue,...... Our tickets happened to be black.  So when I yelled a little too loudly to the family that, This is the black section..., my husband half laughed and half wrestled me to the ground with his hand over my mouth.  Not really.  But he did point out that maybe I shouldn't talk so loud with any sentences that might suggest I have racial issues. 

Y'all so here's the deal.... this is all about misunderstandings.  All about interpretation and feelings and built in ideas that color the things we hear and see.  All about projecting those assumed ideas onto others..... and then things get messy.   I think I've said all this before.  I need to write a book.  Or a song. 

Maybe the things people say and do are just things people say and do.  With no hurt or bad intended.  But people...we... I... seem to be pre programmed to assume bad instead of rejoicing over the good.  And I just don't understand. 

My husband is still to this day - 13 years down the road - trying to explain to the world that he did not actually leave me, all big and pregnant with one kid already on my hip - standing in the grocery store meat section..... as he wandered away happily chatting with a lady fireman friend.  (Who was not big and pregnant with a baby on her hip.)  Just left me standing right there next to the bacon with a big ol' water retention face full of questions.....  So my hormones got mad at him and didn't give him a chance to explain or discuss or whatever.  You know me,  .... whatever.   Anyway, I'm like that a lot.  Jumping on an opportunity to see one version of the truth - but maybe I missed a piece?  Maybe he just wanted me to see if bacon was on sale.   I never gave him a chance to say. 

So here it is.  Plain truth and a super simple idea.  One day at a time.... I'm gonna try to hear and see some good all around.  I'm going to try to set assumptions aside and listen to actual words spoken, and seek out the heart that has motivated the words.  There's where I'll find the true meaning.  

Looking at people's hearts.  Getting to know them before I assume that I already do.

And also today?  A  friend asked me why I wasn't writing on here much lately.... a few reasons really, but I'm still around.  But those were words of beauty to me... placing value on this space and the words shared.  Beautiful words that let me know that something was noticed missing, and even more, that it was missed.  That was good for the soul....   

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