Sunday, October 5, 2014

I have no idea why relationships come and go. Some for a season, some for a lifetime.

There was the storm sent straight from hell on Thursday afternoon that in less than 15 minutes tore this town apart and left tons, if not most people, without power or communication.  And lots of melting food.  And right before that was the appearance of ebola in our part of town that has everyone up in arms and afraid to breathe or walk outside.  But I, as an employee of the ebola man's hospital, can say that I walked into that place just fine last week and came out without fear or disease.  It's just business as usual in there with amazing people doing amazing things every day.  Anyway, ebola and hurricane force winds made Dallas the news center of the universe for a couple of days. 

And after we went through two of the however many plagues that originally appeared in the Bible, but not exactly the same ... only kinda',.... husband and I packed up and left this crazy place for the weekend.  And handed the kids over to the fun uncle, who when we come home from trips like this, make my kids groan at the return of their mean, boring parents. 

And on our weekend we found this very scary farmer/scarecrow/zombie out on the sidewalk.  His name is Jethro and he welcomed us to Glen Rose, Texas.

I  also found this place where you can get breast implants and a hearing aid all at the same time. 

And I found a super size Jesus possibly saying the Pledge of Allegiance in a boutique shop on the square in Granbury, Texas.  And I found it all too funny since I had also just heard a song called I met Jesus in a Bar.  Because, as you all know, I'm a big believer that Jesus can and will meet you wherever you are.  

And we stayed at a place that was lovely, with chairs by the river and beautiful porches and good food. And it was a weekend for spending some needed time together and celebrating early our upcoming 15th wedding anniversary.  So now I know you're doing the math.  There were years before the actual marriage license was signed, sealed and delivered.  And during those years lots and lots of events and happenings took place  -  and through it all, one man stood with me, beside me, and at other times, held me up.  Official paper or not.  My husband.  So for however many years you would like it to count, it's been a lifetime for us. 

But all weekend I was nervous and a little worried over our concentrated together time.  Because though we get time, think Date Day Wednesdays, when we're both off work, concentrated time where I might have to be entertaining, enlightening and/or borderline fascinating for an extended period had me concerned. 

Ever see that Ashley Judd movie about a 17 year old pregnant girl abandoned at a Walmart and she lived in there for a while till Ashley took her in?  Well that totally happened to me.  But it was at Chubby's diner, not Walmart. And I was way older than 17, but still super pregnant.  And husband said he forgot his wallet or something and left me on a cold, rainy night, sitting on a vinyl bench by the cash register at the Chubby's  - and said he'd be right back.  And I know every waitress in there was deciding if he would or not.  And in my condition, I think I wondered it a time or two myself.   

But he did come back and paid the bill then we went home and he slipped in the rain chasing our runaway dog and broke his ankle.  Whereupon I cried,  something like.... NOOOOOOOO!!! WE NEED THIS JOB!!! afraid he would be kicked out of the fire academy for his injury.  And since he didn't abandon me to become a diner waitress, I took him to the emergency room at some ungodly hour of the night.  And so ended a pathetic worry filled night for the Walters.

And last night in Glen Rose, Texas I sat, all alone in the dark.  Again. At the Paluxy River Bluegrass Festival, as concerned eyes watched my husband walk away from our picnic table and never come back.  In about forever.  Because earlier he had the crazy idea that we should walk all the way over to this place through a dark and lonely park possibly filled with serial killers.  And we only passed one guy in the whole park.  A man all alone, wearing overalls and carrying a large duffel bag.  Which to me, was very suspicious looking in a killer kind of way.  And I was too afraid to walk back through it again, so husband walked the death path alone, back to the inn, and finally brought the car back to get me.  As I was re-living my feelings of abandonment just like that night at Chubby's.  And I thought how this has to be IT.  This is how it all comes to the final page of the story.  Husband tells wife it's a celebratory weekend and dumps her at a small town bluegrass music festival.  Wife cries a little while then finds a single banjo player to replace him. (Not really.  I'm sure I would cry much longer than a few minutes before I took up with the banjo player.) 

And at least for the first night of the weekend we were the youngest people at the inn.  Along with about 4 senior couples that had met there.  And it looked like the ladies did most of the talking, and the men did a whole lot of sitting and listening.  Or not.  One lady really likes her mascara because it comes off so easily, and one lady always uses the pre-wash cycle on her machine but only adds detergent when it comes to the final wash cycle.  And the ladies were held captivated and comparing, and the men just nodded or nodded off out on the beautiful porch on a lovely fall day.

And I thought it all beautiful.  Right there in my small eaves dropping moment I saw a picture of what a lifetime together is really made of.  Not a whole lot different than mine.  

Because it's not built on the get away weekends that are special for a time.  I think most of it is built doing exactly what we're doing now.  One laundry load at a time.  One day at a time full of the day to day adventures of growing a family together.  And it's not all romantic.  And sometimes none of it is.  And there are plenty of times when I wonder if we're boring.  Or if maybe I'm boring and he might dump me at the Walmart.  Or our next bluegrass festival.  

And it turns out I didn't have to be any more fascinating this weekend than I am everyday at home.  Which, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being super fascinating... I may or may not fall somewhere right in the middle.  Depends on the day and who you might ask.  But the good news that I was reminded of again is that I'm loved anyway.  Turns out that's how love works when it's really working. 

And honestly, I have no idea why relationships come and go.  Some for a season, some for a lifetime.  I can't even count the number of people who have touched my life in one way or another, in passing or in staying.  But have turned my direction toward where I am today.  

So maybe our relationships are meant to take us to new places.  Maybe to take us away from others.  But I like to think each has a purpose.  

post script.... I had never before this weekend been to a bluegrass music festival in my entire life and have no plans to make it to another.  It was there, we were there. It was something to do and we didn't get killed on the way to doing it.  And everyone but us brought lawn chairs.  And as husband said before he left me sitting alone in the dark last night, now we can cross this off our bucket list.

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