Saturday, October 10, 2015

Sometimes the right thing comes along when you need it most

Y'all.  I started writing this post exactly one week ago.  I find my time here alone and quiet to be infrequent, and that's being generous with the description.  And I totally CANNOT think, write or type while people are around me making noise.  So bear with me if all this is yesterday's news.  Because in fact, it IS yesterday's news.   

Ummm, apparently I'm doing this blog thing all wrong.  According to a couple of articles sent to me to improve my writing and increase my popularity among the nations.  Things I'm doing wrong, in no particular order.... I provide exactly ZERO useful tips for you to take away.  I should be telling you how to roast the perfect chicken or how to make votive candles from baby pumpkins.  I feel like a failure.  I'm also supposed to post regularly whether I have something of value to share or not.  Just so you don't forget about me and so that we can form a closer online relationship.  And thirdly, I should have one focus.  ONE.  And it should clearly be motivating and captivating, as well as make all our lives easier.  However.... I think I like it the way it is.  My ability to talk for hours without giving you a single thing to walk away with is a gift that I call my own.    

Word on the middle school street is that there's a pregnant 8th grader at the middle school.  Kid 3 thinks she's a 7th grader.  But saying she's an 8th grader puts her one year closer to adulthood and makes me gasp for air one year's worth less.  Life just creeps in no matter how hard I try to keep it out.


I took 6 boys to the high school homecoming game last Friday night and ended up sitting dateless and alone.  And the lady behind me kept yelling Hit him in his ass!  Really loud.  But I guess I had on my church lady face so she would then correct herself and say Abs, I meant abdominals.  Hit him in his abs!  I chose to ignore her and appeared altogether unfriendly and honestly, I was completely okay with that for the night.  I was busy keeping hope alive that my 6 little friends were roaming somewhere doing good for mankind, and that a school police officer wouldn't call my name over the loud speaker.

Anyway, I had a massive headache and my eyes were burning and red and I think I probably had the virus that Kid 1 had the week before because he keeps drinking from all my cups and then I get his germs.  I also toyed with the idea of my head exploding and going blind all during the game.  But we made it to the end and the last kid finally left my house at 11pm  - and I was a little mad about that because I was very ready for bed.  (I took a quiz once on how to tell if you're old and I passed for about 75.  Counting the minutes till you can go to bed was what pushed me into the high scoring range.) 

Kid 1 went to the Homecoming dance as an eligible bachelor.  He and a couple of other boys went to test the waters of their first high school dance and as far as I can tell it went okay.  One of the dads dropped the boys off at the dance and I heard that he literally dropped them off.  Just put them out on the sidewalk somewhere near the building and let them use their scouting skills to find the 48th floor of such and such building in the dark on a Saturday night.  

And one of the moms brought them all home.  And once again, my need for sleep overtook my strongest desire to stay awake and verify the safety of my child, and I woke up at 2am in a panic to see if he was in his bed.  I think I need a better multi-vitamin.  One with magical energy benefits. 

This handsome young man just turned 14.  Happy Birthday Kid 2.  I kinda love you.   

I came home from work one day this week and found husband dusting the boys' room and singing love songs.  Really loud love songs.  So I  tried to make some noise around the kitchen so he'd know I was here, but then I thought how fun it was with him not knowing that I was here, so I let him sing.  But he hit the chorus of  the 1970's tune, Love is the Answer, and I had to put a stop to it before it got embarrassing.  I thought about chiming in and us singing a duet, because I actually love that song, but with my aforementioned virus and all,... it wouldn't have been my best work.  So I just walked in and told him I hired him an agent and he'll soon be performing on America's Got Talent as the singing fireman.  And of course I laughed till he didn't think it was funny anymore.   Here's the song in case you want to sing along too.


I think Fireman Dave should get one of these hairdos.   

He did mention later that day that my hair looked really good.  I think he used the words, it looks more Hollywood than usual.  (I think he just wanted me to quit offering to buy him a leisure suit and gold chains.)  But nevertheless, he totally knows how to push the right Kristi buttons because he tapped into my deepest dreams with that statement.  I'm thinking I'll probably choose to be a movie star in my next life.  Or a burlesque dancer.  

In other Fireman Dave news... he made the news one day this week.  And I always think that's kinda fun.  Here's the clip..... but you have to click on the link because I have no idea how to make it show up otherwise. 

He's the one standing in the doorway as the other two guys climb the stairs.  He said the most dangerous thing about that particular fire was the lady of the house who was having a nervous breakdown.  

What else?  My eBay business is up and running again.  And by business I mean that I sell anything that isn't bolted to the floor.  Just for extra spending money and/or feeding my children.  Turns out kids are expensive.  But we've been saving lots of money by hiding the potato chips in a secret cabinet away from the boys.  That's like getting an extra pay check a month right there.   

But,..... we did get one of those pink slips in the mail today from the electric company that suggests we pay our bill soon.  Or else.  Fireman Dave would think it romantic to be in the dark, living only by candlelight and our wits.  I think I'd last all of half a day before I'd threaten to leave him for a man with electricity.  He said he's gonna pay that bill tonight.

We're currently dividing our kids and our time between three different schools.  And I decided a long time ago that there's only so much Kristi to go around.  Sometimes no just has to be the answer when endless volunteer opportunities come my way. 

That being said, we've been running to and from practices and lessons and games and this and that for the boys.  This morning before I left the house I put the jar of peanut butter on the trash can lid to weight it down.  Rita the dog has learned to open the lid with her nose and there was food in there calling her name.  I think she's lonely and turning to food as her source of comfort.  Much like a lonely housewife who takes up with the UPS delivery guy. 

In fact, here's a note I found from Rita the dog when I got home today....

Dear Mommy, 

I am very sad because you are gone all the time.  Do you still love me?  I've turned into a  trash eating street animal out of boredom and sadness.  I've lost all sense of pride and I've also taken to sleeping in that chair that you told me not to sleep in.  Can you please slow down and stay home with me today?  If not, that's okay.  I'll just soothe my lonely heart with those bacon grease soaked paper towels in the trash can.  


This dog note made me sad.  I never even knew she could write. 

Know what?  I actually hate using the word busy to describe myself or anyone else.  I think busy is a catch all phrase that can mean that maybe my priorities need to be re-considered.  I once heard a friend say that if my plate is too full, that I need a bigger plate.  I didn't agree then or now.  What I need is a well balanced plate.  Balanced with the things that matter the most.  And sometimes that's the hard part to figure out. 

And there was a whole lot more I could've been doing the other night when Kid 2 said he was going outside to look at the stars.  He had just sent his daddy a text saying he wished it was still his birthday, since it was so nice to have a day all about him.  So I stopped whatever I was doing ... and went to learn about some stars from Kid 2.  Then husband and Kid 3 got home from football and joined us.  And Kid 1 came out of the house realizing there were better things going on outside than in, and we had the together time my heart needed.  

Sometimes the right thing comes along when you need it most.  

Post script.... Y'all, this week I got a message from a friend about some disappointment that came her way.  And I told her that disappointment stinks no matter who, what, when or where - yet is the one universal language we can all understand.  But I actually think the most encouraging thing I can do for anyone is listen to what they want to tell me.  And after that?  Just keep quiet.  So I didn't pull out the scriptures promising a new door to open for her... and I didn't try to say how sorry I was for it all... but in my own, possibly awkward way, I hope I found the words to tell her that I think she's wonderful no matter what.   

Because I'm of the school that we preach the love of God so much better and far stronger when we train our eyes to see the good in others and humble ourselves to tell them all about it.  So I love sending notes about wonderful things I've observed, or qualities that I admire.  And I love having the chance to be a person that someone else looks to, not for an answer, because that would be scary for us both, but simply for a friend to say nothing other than, I love you anyway and always.

I think that's what God spends most of his days doing with me.

post post script.... no I didn't really find Husband an agent.  But he did such a grand job dusting the boys' room that I asked him to continue on as the singing housekeeper.  

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