Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Strange Things are Happening

You know how some days when you get home after teaching 4 classes and you're totally gross in a dried sweat, but still wet pants sort of way?  ... And you had to go to the bathroom when you ran into  Target on the way home and only one stall had toilet paper and all the other ones were as gross as you were after you taught 4 classes?  And none of that makes you happy?

But sweet words to the rescue as I received a beautiful compliment from a friend about the blog.  She's one of those crazy creative, talented people whom I would love to be like but I can't cut and glue things very well so I just end up buying whatever cute things I want.

I think I am going to title this post.... Strange things are happening.  Because they are.  Here's a list.

1.  One day last week I taught a class with the 6ft tall Chick-fil-A cow mascot as my co teacher.  Only for about 2 minutes because the cow was on a tight schedule, but still.  And it was half funny plus half weird and fully maddening because the cow wandered in there unannounced and without warning and just proceeded to join me in some Zumba hip rolling.  And then the gym management took pictures and I was about 25 miles south of Presentable at that time.  I also wore a shirt that happens to add a few bonus pounds to my look.  And had I known I would be photographed for Chick-fil-A  promotional purposes, I would've chosen my wardrobe more wisely.

2.  I found a tooth in my bed one morning.  And it was a big tooth.  A molar.  And out of reflexive reaction, I immediately started feeling around in my own mouth to make sure all my own teeth were accounted for.  And indeed they were.  So I asked the boys if anyone happened to put a tooth in Mama's bed, and for what particular reason ... but they all said they didn't do it.  So I am baffled, as this has never happened to me before.  I have no idea whose tooth it was but it went in the trash can and onto my list of mysteries that may never be solved.

3.  I came home twice this week to find the back door unlocked as an invitation for crime to make itself welcome in our home.  Husband says he locked it.   But he also stood considering the Bluebell ice cream at the grocery store one day and told me we need to get some of that chicken.   So I worry about him from time to time.  But each time I found the door unlocked, I peeked my head in, asked the sleeping dog if everything was okay.  And she said yes both times.  So I took my life in my hands and went in and got in the shower.  Refer back to #1 on the list where I was over the top gross from work.  And it could've totally been a re-enactment of the shower scene from Psycho and Fireman Dave would've felt awful that he left the door unlocked.  But it turned out okay. 

One time I called husband from the Walmart and told him I was feeling a little light headed and having some anxiety causing chest palpitations.  And he pretty much told me I was just stressed because I was in Walmart,  and that I was over reacting.  And I told him that if I died right there in the toothpaste aisle that he would live to regret those last words he spoke to me.   That time turned out okay, too.

4.  Strange thing number 4.... I caught two pot holders on fire in less than one week.   Maybe that's not strange. 

Husband was at the fire station for about the last 10,000 hours and I've been home with naughty kids.  I went to a church function with a friend Saturday morning and came home to find Kid 3 with a light switch mark imprinted on his face.  I'm sure you can guess how that happened.  There were additional claims of cuts, bruises, and abrasions, and not sharing the store brand cheese puffs.

Then later that same day Kid 3 got mad at I forget what, and tore through the house tossing chair cushions, turning over an ottoman... and then ran away from home in his socks.  So I drove around to find him and took him to husband at the fire station and said,... Take him.  He's yours.   Of course Kid 3 protested the whole way, certain that I wouldn't really take him anywhere since he had no shoes - but I told him that's what happens when you run away from home in your socks.  

And I had the greatest plan to make this adorable handmade nativity that I saw on Pinterest.  Refer back to paragraph #2 where I admit I am not crafty.  So it took me about 5 days of shopping at the craft store and organizing my thoughts to print and cut out baby Jesus and his family... but I gave up after I cut about one figure.  Because I also have an extremely short attention span unless it involves shopping.   

But y'all,  I came home from work today and found that Fireman Dave had cut, glued AND glittered my nativity characters, hung them in the sun to dry, and decked all our halls with Christmas lights.  And now he's outside crafting the stable out of sticks and hand tools like an Amish man.  Later today he has plans to supervise Kid 3's science fair project, rescue some kittens from a tree, and then cook a multi course meal.  Because he can do all things.  And it seems I am only good at setting things on fire and running off my children.  Yes I get jealous.  It's a real thing for me.

My friend is having a major medical procedure done this week and she's a little nervous about it all.  And I was thinking about a particular scripture that she's been focusing on.  

She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future.
Proverbs 31:25 

And she's questioning how to walk into her future without fear... and I believe she is also wondering how to walk with dignity in a hospital gown.  

But I see this in her - I see courage.  I see faith.  Of course I see doubt.  But I also see honesty that doesn't hide the fact that she wants to live as the woman in this verse.  Me too.  Hope springs eternal.  

But alongside my jealous streak is also a giant neon colored swatch of resentfulness, a big dark stained splotch of Please love me and make me feel secure about myself....And a bigger than life, tear stained stripe of scars from a lifetime of trying to make my own way; Trying to find my own security and self worth  - And a bucket full of failed attempts at looking for love in all the wrong places.   

I think I have days of strength.  Or at least pretend strength.  But then I sit at a church thing with my friend on a Saturday morning, surrounded by ladies sharing and caring and finding support in all kinds of this and that, and I get up and leave early because I don't want anyone to see that I'm really kinda weak.    

And the dignity part?  Gosh.  I think there have been so many times that I have fallen miles upon miles short in this.  Because I forget that I've already been promised a million little gifts by a God that has never given up on me.  One day I'm gonna meet him and shake his hand.  

Nope.  I take that back.  I'll probably hug him and cry a lot.   And then I'll ask to be assigned to a group of other Heavenly people who don't want to do crafts. 

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