Sunday, July 24, 2016

Do you ever get so fed up with mankind that you want to run away and live with the apes?

Every time I think I don't have another story to tell, life shows up and says that I do.  Here it is, weekend edition. 

Yesterday I saw more naked in a 10 minute time frame than I could've ever seen had I purchased a publication geared toward such subjects.  But why on earth would I when I can just stand in my own kitchen and wait for the parade to pass by? 

It all started with Kid 2 running wildly from the shower after he spotted a giant roach that he claims crawled out of the faucet.  Which prompted an entirely  different conversation between me and Fireman Dave as to how he might remedy that problem. 

Then came naked Kid 1, but an angry and naked Kid 1, because he wanted to take a shower but apparently Kid 2 and the roach used up all the good water.  And of course there were no towels because all those wet ones that have been piled on their bathroom floor forever are probably where the roach has made his summer home.   

And the dog got very sick again and life just isn't fair.  But we think we caught it early this time and Fireman Dave has become a near expert in dog lV treatments so she's in good hands.  Her name is Rita is you're of the sort to pray for dogs. 

Do you ever get so fed up with mankind that you want to run away and live with the apes somewhere in a jungle because everyone knows apes are a species far more inclined to be kind, obedient, and not say mean things to each other? 

At least that's what I imagine being an ape might be like in the beautiful jungles of South Somewhere.  I imagine all my little baby apes would clean their room, take out the trash without being told and not tell me that I don't need to be eating that piece of cake.  

But in reality, left to their own devices, I think all (my) men would just sit around in their underpants, surrounded by dirty dishes and empty chip bags waiting for the dishwasher to unload itself.  I've conducted more than enough research on this subject to substantiate my claims. 
The last two days have been One of THOSE days kinds of days.  People at work have been unmotivated and grumpy,...wait, maybe that was me.  And they think a song is about one thing when it's totally about something entirely not what they said.  And I broke a nail.  And my water bottle spilled gallons of water all inside my gym bag which happened to contain my only dry clothes and all sorts of intellectual property - a.k.a, class choreography, plans and pretty much everything I need to succeed.

So I hung my work up to dry in the laundry room at the exact same time I was fussing at Kid 3 for his lack of ability to problem solve.  To be more exact, I believe with all my heart that an almost 13 year old boy should be able to hang up an ironing board on the wall without making a mockery of the entire ironing board storage rack design.  

And now you're reading this blog wondering when it becomes inspirational and encouraging.  You're probably not the only one.

For me, I think that can only happen when I write the true stories of an everyday family living with a sensitive stomached dog .... and how our ordinary can become so much more when offered up for God's glory.  I pray every time I sit down here to write that someone will read these words and feel less alone, less frustrated, and maybe even a little bit encouraged in the way normal things -  the good and bad, the boring, ordinary, and the plain... can be turned into something beautiful in the right hands.  God's, not mine.  

Y'all, this is serious business.... it seems Fireman Dave is still in denial over the blog.  True story, but that's just between you and me.  Just yesterday as we discussed the similarities between him and Sheriff Taylor of the Andy Griffith show, he expressed to me very strongly that he believes I've created an entirely different blog character of him.  I told him I retain all creative rights.

Maybe because he sees events and words exactly as they happen.  But I prefer to see what can become of things when turned into a story - a story told through an entirely different set of eyes.  The eyes of a person who has earned this sense of humor by walking down a whole lot of not so funny roads.

Y'all, it probably wasn't the days this week that were bad.  I'm the one who's been out of sorts lately.  Water retention jokes aside, I've been irritable, short tempered, and jealous.  I've said things quickly that I wish I could take back.  And I've thought even more of the same.  And I've all too often found myself in the position of questioning - the what if types, mostly. 

But the good news about that is that I can't think of a single Bible story where God asks us to bring him our fancy.  Or our 100% correct.  Or even our successes.  I can, however, think of a few times when we are asked to bring our disappointments, heartaches and fears.  And our best.  God seems to adore our best - whatever that may be. 

And here's some more good news .... and I'm very excited.  I get to attend my very first blogging conference later this week.  Did you even know there was such a thing?  Well, yes there is and it involves food and learning and me possibly taking my very first UBER transport to the location since I will certainly get lost on my own. 

And I am absolutely convinced that this opportunity is a gift straight from Heaven because I won the ticket to the conference.  You read that right!  I won!  You can read about that right here.

I'm thankful to get away for a couple of days.  I'm excited to learn and be surrounded by other writers and speakers who are offering their plain and ordinary up to the glory of God. 

The boys think it's just fascinating that I get to stay in a hotel all by myself. 

If they only knew that I kinda think so too. 

Scenes like this are becoming all too normal for me this summer.   (Dear Kid 1, the soft drink industry thanks you for your support.)   

post script... I know absolutely nothing about apes.    

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