Wednesday, October 5, 2016

This I know for sure... nothing is easy

I wrote this post last week for the church.  Actually, that's a complete lie.  I wrote most of those words two years ago and saved it in the draft folder of my blog - for a rainy day.  Last week was that rainy day because I had nothing else to give and the post was due.  So I updated the first paragraph and hit publish. (The post?  you should totally read it... but short version, in case... it talks about my efforts at homemaking, and the value of it in the bigger picture of family.)

But then in church Sunday morning a new friend told me that she liked what I wrote.  Yay!  for new readers and new friends.  But then she said she felt bad about her own home.  Because of what I wrote?   Lord, y'all.  I hope not. 

Because people, that's just a NO.  In fact it's a triple NO wrapped in bacon  -  because nothing I ever write is supposed to make anyone feel less than, or worried, or self conscious about his or her own state of affairs.  Except for the occasional post where I might talk mean about an ex boyfriend and/or his current lady.   (sweet baby Jesus, a while back I saw the new Muppet Show and in it, learned that Kermit the Frog has left Miss Piggy for a new floosy pig named Denise.  And it just reminded me too much of past heartache.)  I'm aware that I'm awful and I know I have a problem.

So this week let's talk the truth.  The fresh truth, not words from two years ago.

Nothing is easy.  And a whole lot of the time it isn't all that pretty.  Let's take a pictorial tour of my week......

This is the wall in the entry hall.  I thought I could paint it quickly while Fireman Dave was at work and not home to tell me no.  Then I learned that I can't paint fast and that I get tired trying to.  It'll probably be like this forever.  There are two matching spots just like it in the den. 

This is a shed that I saw in the Home Depot parking lot and made a u-turn in the street to go take a tour.  I'm seriously considering this for the backyard and whatever children are taking up the most space in the house. 

These are my legs wearing Kid 2's sweatshirt as pants.  Because the mosquitoes at Kid 1's football game were terrible and I wore shorts that night.  Kid 2 is a  hero of epic proportions, and if you see him.. tell him happy 15th birthday.  Yes,  that happened. 

And this is me after teaching 4 classes on Monday and I desperately need a shower.  But I did put a filter called warmify on the picture - I think that means it gave me a tan.  I did that to save you from bad dreams.  I usually just end up putting on dry clothes and trying to comb out the dried sweat waves that have made my hair crunchy - and spend the rest of the day like this.  And if you look closely, you can see that the bedroom chair is used way too often as a laundry holding area.  And my kids are all scared of my childhood Raggedy Ann dolls sitting on that shelf back there.  Mine's the naked one.  My sister's ended up with a dress.  

This I know for sure..... things are messy and dirty, and all too often, all kinds of mean.  And sometimes out of the blue, what started as a normal day can steal away my blogging words.  

Kids are hard.  I'll tell you the dishwasher story another day.  But it made me consider the possibility that Kid 1 was switched at birth. 

And marriage is hard.  Y'all, I mean it.  It's just so hard sometimes.  Every now and then hard enough for me to wonder how we got to 17 years and if we'll ever make it to 18. 

And getting older is hard.  So is trying not to eat carbs.  And finances, and balancing work and family and time to sleep is a complicated mix of difficult and frustrating. 

Sometimes I just want to go shopping for cute shoes to make me feel better about this game called life.  

And sometimes I write pretty words that inspire and encourage.   And the words come easy.  And then on days like today, I find myself trying to drag the words onto the page, but they come out sounding harsh and desperate.

But I'm thankful for the good that comes before the bad, so I can mix it all together like soup.  I'm a huge fan of soup.  

I'm thankful for the stores of faith that the easy days bring, because more than I would like to admit, I have to pull from the stock piles of plenty to fill in the gaps of the empty. 

post script:  for the curious out there, I've always taken pride in calling myself a housewife or homemaker or whatever.  Because loving on my people through cookies and cute throw pillows happens to indeed be my love language.  

post post script:  yes, a while back I really did watch one episode of the new Muppet Show and the whole dumping of Miss Piggy and the suggestive nature of the conversation between Kermit and his, um... friend, brought me back to places of darkness.  It also disturbed me deeply to know Kermit has such relationships.  My muppet interest ended that very day.  

Would you like to comment?

  1. Your new church friend and reader appreciates your candor!

  2. And again I say YAY!! for new friends! So glad you found me.


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