Wednesday, January 25, 2017

stop, drop and roll with it.....

So..... we had a smallish kitchen fire and I was blamed for it.  And at the same time, shamed by Kid 2 for making him be the one who mixed up the brownies and stuck them in the oven that went crazy. 

I know this picture doesn't quite do it justice... but here are the brownies after they were removed from the oven -  flaming -  and leaving us wondering why we weren't all suited up in our firefighter family gear.... Fireman Dave tossed them out into the ferns on the front porch, much like that time he had another smallish kitchen fire and went running through the house like he was finishing first place in a race - but in a race where you had to juggle flaming pans of grease while running really fast.

Anyway, I swear it was just the day before that he told me I almost caught my sweater on fire at the stove, and all he did was watch it happen and remind me to stop, drop and roll.  I still think he has plans to hire a cute nanny upon my demise.

But y'all, so much smoke filled the house that the smoke alarms went off and we had all the windows open forever, fans going, and angry people who didn't get to eat any brownies.  And the entire next day while I worked outside the home, Fireman Dave worked on smoke damage cleanup -  washing all the walls with vinegar water, and laundering every slipcover and curtain, until he got tired and quit then went to eat lunch with his brother.  They had barbecue.  The house is better, but still very much smells like someplace you don't really want to be.

But the good news came when husband texted me that I wasn't to blame for the blaze - because the night before it was basically a witch hunt around here - telling me I had pushed the broil button instead of the bake button and making Kid 2 hate me for getting him involved.  And making me worry ever the more about my mind slipping further and further out of reach.

But on clean up day when Fireman Dave tried to mask the smell  with an internet remedy of butter and cinnamon, heated in the oven on a piece of foil at 200 degrees, he proved my mind is as healthy as ever.  Well, actually he only proved that we need a new oven.  But imagine a pat of butter with a streak of orange fire reaching the sky  - and that, my loves is a picture of my worries disappearing.  Until this morning when I said a few questionable things in class....... 

So really this week we learned that we need a new oven, and that it is doubtful that Fireman Dave would save me if I catch my sweater on fire while cooking dinner. 

Once again I type the words, I didn't sleep well last night.  Or the night before.  Maybe that's why I say crazy and confusing things in the microphone at work.... but really, it affects everything I do.  I've been so worried about Kid 1 and his speeding bullet of a relationship with his lady love that I can't help but think I need a super hero on speed dial.  A super hero that runs to the rescue of teens about to make huge mistakes and regret them the rest of their lives. 

And I'm not saying either one of them are bad kids, alone or together, but I am saying that age 16 is too young to be thinking such serious thoughts of a relationship, all the while thinking less and less about his own plans for the future.  He's always been my one to have one really good friend.  One friend at a time, and he's either all in or all out.  This time, the friend is a young lady with designs on his future and a propensity to write lengthy love letters and draw cute hearts. 

To put it plainly, I'm worried.  I'm worried that all I've said and done has gone in one ear and out the other, or maybe it was never heard over the sounds of crunching potato chips.  I'm worried that he can only see today, and not even to the end.  I'm worried that he can only see to the next phone call or text, and is completely blind to opportunity and possibility.  Because it's really so very hard to explain to a kid that there is more than today.  And that today is a tiny spot on the map of his life, and how quickly and easily that tiny spot can change his forever course. 

I feel like I've spent a million years telling my boys that they were each created for a purpose that only he could fulfill.  A purpose and plan that God placed in their hearts and put them in charge of for their lifetimes.  And I can only hope that the whisper, the calling of their purpose and plan is louder than that of anything else that tries to drown it out.  Louder than school and friends and sports, and cell phones.  And louder than a young girlfriend who bases her entire existence on his love.  She deserves more, and so does he. 

So no, I didn't sleep last night.  And I worried.  And the house smelled like burned food.  I need to come to the point where I'm able to say that it's still all good.  Or that it will all eventually be good,  and that God can use anything and everything for our good, when we allow him to do it.  Or in fireman lingo?  ... stop, drop and roll with it......    And then place some faith in what I've invested and taught and trusted all this time as a mom.  Then I have to go to sleep and remind myself that the boys could be doing a whole lot of worse things that I can't even imagine.  

post script:  Now this is funny... maybe only to moms, but still.......

Kids 1, 2 and 4 were out somewhere of mystery, on bikes, ... and I got a phone call from my cousin that doesn't even live in town.  She lives about 2 hours away and hasn't seen me or the boys in forever.  She had bought something off Craigs List or Facebook Garage Sale or something and happened to be in our neighborhood and called to say that she just saw my crazy kids out and about.  Yes,.... of course I asked if they were being naughty or nice. 

But to think that this is a cousin that I never see, haven't seen in years, and that she happened upon three kids on bikes and recognized them as mine - Y'all.... this just proves that moms have eyes everywhere, and that God can  place people in the most unexpected places to keep an eye on our kiddos.  I love this.  And I need to place a whole lot more faith in it. 

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