Sunday, August 6, 2017

It takes a village, people. No, not THE Village People.

I needed to show y'all this see if you may have gotten an invitation too...maybe we can go together.

It seems I have been invited to a free meal and a unique opportunity to pre-plan my own funeral.  They even sent two actual meal tickets to let me know that this is indeed a REAL deal.  All I can say is, For the love of God, a girl gets a couple of cosmetic refreshes at the dermatologist and she's suddenly old enough to be on the mailing list of the local funeral home.

I'll leave you to ponder that one.

Moving on....

I believe it was one of my most recent requests of the boys....  

Please do not tape gym shorts to the ceiling anymore because its tearing up the plaster

They must not have heard me. 

And I believe I told Kid 1 to be home at 9:30 last night - and that didn't happen either.

So I've decided that my first book should be titled,...  

Ineffective Parenting Techniques from a mom who has tried them all.  
How to get your kids to do the exact opposite of what you ask of them every time.  

I had a couple of mothering conversations today.  It started out with me telling the world how Kid 2 used his own hard earned job money to buy a refurbished iPhone off eBay - but then he jumped in the pool with it in his pocket and quickly learned a very expensive lesson.  He is definitely in the phase of life known as scatterbrained adolescence.  And Kid 3 is on a giant growth spurt and turning into an actual giant, and honestly, I think the brain is still trying to catch up - on sleep anyway.   

But one topic led to another and I got lots of feedback from women who are mothers and some who are not.  I have to say that sometimes I think that the non-mothers and not yet mothers actually have such a fresh perspective on it all because they've spent their lives watching the rest of us get it all wrong.  And there are plenty of times that I really need those fresh eyes to take over where mine can no longer see.  It takes a village, people.  Not THE Village People, but just a village of people who care enough to share and teach and represent the goodness of the what we all need a healthy dose of. 

I listened to a young mom in the locker room the other day - getting her toddler daughter ready for swim lessons.  And all across the land all any of us could hear were the unhappy cries and pleadings of another child somewhere in there who obviously was 100% sure he didn't want to get in the pool.  But the mom that I was listening to talked to her little girl and said, I sure hope that baby feels better soon.  And the little girl repeated mom's exact words, I sure hope that baby feels better soon. First lessons in compassion and understanding,  and what a sweet lesson it was.  For me, too.  

I like to think I taught all the important things to the boys.  Lately I'm not sure.  I guess I may never be.    This week my thoughts go mainly to Kid 1 and Princess C again - not the whole, I can't manage to make it home by curfew thing.  He has his consequence for that.... but more about the whole, I can't see past the day I'm living now to invest in my future or anything beyond my teen love state of mind.  You have to read the aforementioned statement with a sigh of exhausted desperation in your voice, and maybe some emotional angst.  Because y'all, let me tell you... I see plenty of emotional angst.

People always told me to be thankful I had boys and not girls.  Number one, it makes weddings cheaper and that can't be a bad thing.  But I think they were mostly referring to the general emotional instability stability of the species known as the teen girl.  But I think my second book should be an in- depth study on the lack of emotional anything that teen boys feel unless it involves being bossed around by a teenage girl.

There is so much I want to say - yet so much I need not to say.  Remembering that I'm not the one living the choices, I'm just the one watching it from a very big screen, high def, mom TV - called my eyes.  And yes, I get a little emotional when I hear a kid unable to complete his assigned potential college research that I asked him to do - but completely able to speak the words pizza and marriage in the same sentence.  Such a mixed bag of messages going on in that handsome head.  And did I mention that Kid 1 has the world's best hair?  Gorgeous, full, thick, and wavy, lightened to a beautiful shade of blonde from the life-guarding job this summer.  Maybe I can just put this into the category of things blondes think and do.  I've kept a running list my whole life.

A while back, Kid 2 asked me what it feels like to see my babies all grown up into the super sizes they are now.  And I believe my answer was something to the effect of.... the young men I see now are different people than the Kids 1, 2 and 3 that I knew back then as infants, toddlers and other forms of little bitties.  And I loved each of you a million special ways in each stage, but at each stage I always felt like I was loving an all new kid.  Maybe only moms can understand that concept.  Its like there's a photo album of each stage, each with its own look and feel and memories, and thinking back to those times can bring me back to the kids that I knew then.  But then I close the book and return to living loving life with the people I love now.  They're just bigger and different -  and in some ways, maybe even better.  Though that estimation might depend on the day you ask me.

I think, though, that we as moms get so tied into the people that our kids are,  that in a way, we can't help but take on responsibility for all that they do and become - as well as all that they don't.  And that can be good or bad, once again, depending on the day.    

post script...  So... the neighbors next door put up a giant fence.

And I do not exaggerate the qualities of this fence in any way.  Let's just say that if the giant fence was my date to the prom and tried to make small talk with me during the slow dances, it would need a microphone to reach my ears down below.  If the giant fence was a fast food meal, it would be the supersize triple meat burger with bacon and cheese with a side of fries and a coke.  You can read more about THAT craziness HERE...

post post script  - those cosmetic updates?  No surgery was or has ever been performed -  just in case your mind traveled that road and tried to decide which parts of me are genuinely mine or possibly purchased.  Y'all, I admit that I've gone down a dark path a time or two of doubting myself enough to consider drastic measures, but then I remember that I'm scared.  So what you see is all me, though maybe just a little more buffed and scrubbed than before my appointment.  Just trying to be the best looking gal in the room at my funeral planning session. 

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