Saturday, October 28, 2017

Here's what 18 years has made.....

So much fun to fit into one weekend and I don't even know how to describe it but through pictures.

First, let me say that though I love my job, I also love a good day off.  And I took that day last Friday so I could go to Kid 1's game.  Which was at a totally weird time - -at 11AM on a Friday morning.  And about a thousand miles away from where they usually play.  But it was the kids' State Fair day so there was no school and I guess that's why the daytime game.  I guess if you don't get the high schoolers early on a day off, maybe you won't get them at all.

So here we are - Kid 1's cheering section, complete with family from North Carolina and a cousin from Austin.  I think he was the only player with those kinds of visitors - so please, Kid 1, never tell us that you were ostracized, neglected, and unloved.

And that day at the game we experienced three of the four seasons of weather, missing only an ice storm for good measure.  But it rained and got cold, then hot, then some more rain with on and off again gale force winds.  This picture was during one of the bigger gusts.  I think my hair was about to blow off but I got to love on my boy for a second post game so vanity aside, I'll take it.  I think this is the time I should use a hashtag something like #MamaLovesNumber50

Then we made our way to the State Fair of Texas.  Was this my second or third visit this year?  I don't remember.  But seriously, who can ever get enough of Big Tex?

And on Saturday we had a family wedding - Fireman Dave's niece -  and that was fun, too.  And here are some cousins at the wedding.  Three belong to me.  Can you spot them? 

I do have to tell you that when the couple had napkins engraved with the words "mischief and merriment," they really meant the mischief part because whether they knew it or not, they had a trick cake... a cake that turned lips and teeth black, the color of the frosting.  Fireman Dave may or may not have been the only one besides a two year old to fall for it, but thank goodness for some abrasive paper towels in the bathroom to work his face back to normal.  I do not have pictures of this and for that he is thankful.  However....

I think this picture was taken before cake. 

Oh, and a couple of weeks ago we celebrated 18 years of marital bliss  marriage. So in honor of that I thought I'd throw out some TRUE or FALSE questions....

1. Romance and flowers and saying things like teen girls dream of saying to boys and I don't really know why,...... such as, You Complete Me...... is the key to long lasting relationships.

I say False, though Fireman Dave did surprise me with some pretty fancy flowers this time around. I think in the movies the girl would be wearing something cute or maybe even quirky... I'm thinking something  involving a skirt and a slightly mismatched sweater with some worn, but well thought out boots.  Oh, and she would also have the perfect look of surprise in her eyes upon floral gifting and receiving.  I happen to get that look of surprise and joy each and every time I come home to find the laundry already folded.  But that day, to highlight that romantic floral gesture, I was wearing a wet sports bra, and had come home late because I stopped to eat lunch with a friend.  But when I found the flowers on the dining room table, I still loved them.  And y'all, my husband's floral arranging skills never disappoint.

2. Dramatic dates and share  worthy pictures taken to mark every occasion are the key to long lasting relationships.

I say maybe because I would never turn down a good date if I were indeed offered one - but a giant no on the pictures and share worthy need for attention.  But y'all, for this anniversary, Fireman Dave was working.  And yes, we are still a 2 car family with three licensed drivers and a learner in the house - so for our date, I went by the fire station, picked him up and we did the station grocery shopping at the ALDI  in less than 30 minutes.  Sort of like speed dating, but with food choices.  It was super fun and I got some things for myself while I was there. He tried to trick me into choosing the ice cream flavor that they guys would like with lunch and I declined, stating that I still want to be the one that people like when she shows up for holidays and such.  That and I can't handle insults and criticism. 

3. 24 hour and day 7 day a week togetherness is the key to long lasting relationships.

I say a GIANT NO to that one. No, make that a giant NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Everyone knows that I adore our every third day apart and having the entire bed to myself plus the house full of just me and the dog for a bit while the boys are at school. I enjoy together, but not glued together. That goes for everyone. 

4. Having everything in common makes for long lasting relationships.

Maybe. Maybe not. I wouldn't know since Fireman Dave and I have only certain things in common... our top two being Mexican food and our children. Other than that, the list is pretty spotty, but we each value the other's list for what it is.

So I thought I would go on a bit about what makes a relationship work for long periods of time.  But then I couldn't get the words out. Number one  - because I'm certainly not an expert on relationships of any kind.  Especially marriage so don't even look for those clues in here.  And Number two - my mind has been on other things.  

This past Friday evening while we were still at the Fair, Kid 3 found out that one of his friends from school had been shot and killed.  This was a 15 year old boy.  I wrote a post about it for another publication, and you can read it HERE.  But let me just say that I have tried to explain life and death and heaven and hell to a 14 year old boy in the last week.  And I've tried to do more listening to see if I could hear the sounds of grief getting quieter as the days passed.  And now will be the time to start introducing the idea of choices and consequences, in the context of life and death decisions, and how we decide to do that as parents can surely make or break the lines of communication.  So for now, I am just kind of sitting on those thoughts and words till I can get them right.

I talked to a friend at the gym today who is having some parenting issues of his own.  And I found myself just freely speaking out my thoughts about it  - like I know what I'm talking about.  Then I decided that it may be easier to parent someone else's kids through a tough time given the whole objectivity and impartial evaluation of the facts sort of thing.  Really I probably just need to not talk so much.

post script - to be truthful, we did go out to eat the night before our actual anniversary date, and tried a new Tex Mex restaurant in our very own neighborhood which is all by itself exciting and I might have to contain my enthusiasm for chips and salsa since it is so dangerously close to home now. And for the occasion I got to put on some cute clothes and throw the low carb plan out the window in order to celebrate 18 years.

Here's what 18 years has made..... 

Would you like to comment?

  1. I lost 3 friends in middle school to a mass murderer,and was fortunate that I barely stayed out of the then unknown killers crosshairs by the grace of God and the love of a good friend watching out for me. No nephew it isn't fair, and the older I get the more I hurt for the loss of those 3 and the 20 or so that also lost their innocence too early. The common thread these boys all shared was parents who were too busy to shuttle them home from school, to see that they were in before dark, or didnt have to go fetch dinner at a store blocks from home. Be thankful for what seems to be overbearing parents. Hug them often, you never know if it will be the last time.

  2. Oh my gosh! I laughed out loud!!! Did not realize Dave had tasted the cake. It was Jason's way of saying


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